Audiobook Review: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng (narrated by Cassandra Clare; 10 hours, 1 minute) tells the story of the mixed race family, the Lee's, who live in suburban Ohio in the 1970's. As the book opens, the family has discovered that Lydia, the middle child and oldest daughter, is missing. When her body is discovered two days later in the nearby lake each family member begins to unwind their history and to try to make sense of the tragedy. With each family member's unwinding, the reader learns all that went unsaid and misunderstood between these family members and how it all combined to crush Lydia.

James Lee, the son of immigrants, attended a prestigious prep school at which his father worked as a janitor. Decidedly out of place due to his race and socioeconomic class, James longed to fit in but never quite achieved it. While at Harvard, he met Marilyn - a young, beautiful student with ambition to do more than just satisfy her mother's dream for her - to become a wife. Marilyn wanted to challenge her mother's and other's expectations of her and to become a doctor. She defied her mother's expectations once again when she fell in love with James, an Asian man at a time when mixed race marriages were still illegal in many states. Despite this and maybe a little due to her need to defy her mother, Marilyn marries James and becomes a young mother when their son, Nath, is born. With the arrival of motherhood, Marilyn places her dreams of being a doctor on a shelf but not without some regret and even resentment. With the arrival of the Lee's second child, Lydia, Marilyn sees a vessel for her own shelved dreams and begins to prepare her daughter to become a doctor. Meanwhile, James, pushes her to be popular and to "fit in" - no one asks or assesses what Lydia might want.

Lydia is uncomfortable with her status of favored child and the pressure of living out both of her parents' own dreams. Despite Nath's occasional resentment of his younger sister and the attention of their parents which she commands, the siblings are close and depend on each other to understand their unique family dynamic as only siblings can. The Lee's youngest child, Hannah, is almost the forgotten sibling - conceived at a time when her parents were going through a difficult time and born into a family preoccupied with their own issues, Hannah moves through the household largely unnoticed. From this hidden vantage point, Hannah sees things the other family member's miss - she takes precious belongings from each family member and through them learns what is important to them. She may not always understand the insights her observations offer but she does see things most family members miss. Her insights into Lydia are especially revealing as they all deal with her disappearance and death.

My Thoughts
This intelligent, debut novel tells a tragic story  - and not just the tragedy of a drowned sixteen year old. The real tragedy is how little the parents know about their own children and vice versa. Clouded by the need to see their dreams lived through their children, James and Marilyn never really see their own children or their needs. They give them what they think they need but repeatedly miss the mark. In much the same way, although more understandable since they are children, the Lee children don't know what drives their parents to push them they way they do. Everyone is moving through life propelled by desires they don't understand or acknowledge. The result is the story of a dysfunctional family which fascinates. Cassandra Campbell is a favorite narrator of mine and does an excellent job with this book.  Definitely recommend (the book and the audio production!)

Review: The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell

The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell: The Bird family lives in a lovely home in the Cotswolds in England. The four Bird children live what appears to be a charmed childhood being doted on by their mother, Lorelei,  who is a free spirit and delights in celebrating traditions with her family and creating memories. As is often the case, however, all is not as perfect as it appears. Behind the beautifully choreographed Easter egg hunts in the garden and the lovely dinners, is an inability to face anything uncomfortable. Lorelei copes by collecting things and this collecting soon turns to hoarding which slowly smothers this family. With this dysfunction as its backdrop, the family faces a tragedy and the trajectory of each member's life is changed.

Free-spirited Lorelei embraces being a mother and creates a lovely home for her family. She wants them all around her and enjoy nothing more than being home. She fills the walls in their home with the children's art and collects every memento of the passing years for each child. As the children get a little older, however, they want to spread their wings to a live outside the home; in response, Lorelei clings all the harder to them and adds more things to her "collection" - of course, all this stuff becomes a wedge between her and the family and only drives them further away.

My Thoughts
Hoarding is an uncomfortable topic - it is hard to imagine how someone could let things get so out of control.  Of course, it is not unlike many other addictions and beneath the compulsion is a person who is hurting and trying to fill a void. With this in mind, I felt much sympathy for Lorelei and even found her progression  from collecting to hoarding fascinating.  Thankfully, however, this book was not only about Lorelei and her hoarding.

The real story of the book is the ripple effect of dysfunction through this family. Chapter by chapter, the author reveals a little more about each of the children through the years into adulthood and about each of the parents. Between the impact of growing up in this home that slowly closed in on them and the horrible tragedy they all face one Easter, each family member had their fair share of issues to deal with and you see the effects of all that play out in their adult lives.

This book is compelling and I found myself hungrily reading to see what happens with each character.  Although not everyone has grown up with a hoarder, most face their own versions of family dysfunction in whatever degree. The family drama makes this book relatable while the degree and eccentricity this family faces makes it fascinating.  Highly recommend.

Book to Movie: This Is Where I Leave You

The movie This Is Where I Leave You opens today in theaters nationwide with a powerhouse cast that includes Tina Fey, Jane Fonda, Jason Bateman and Adam Driver. I had the opportunity to see a screening earlier this week and thoroughly enjoyed the movie. In fact, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the movie because I have been evangelizing this book since I read it a number of years ago (I have recommended it to so many since then) and I was a little hesitant about the movie since they often disappoint as compared to the book. I knew, however, that the author, Jonathan Tropper, has been very involved in the movie and had even written the screenplay - that, coupled with the cast, convinced me to give it a try. And I was not disappointed in the least.

 This Is Where I Leave You tells the story of the Altman family and the movie opens with the death of the patriarch, Mort Altman. Recently widowed and mother to the clan, Hilary Altman, played by Jane Fonda, informs the family that their father's dying wish was to have the entire family sit shiva for him. This places the adult Altman children in their childhood home receiving family and friends offering their condolences for seven days. It is clear there is a lot of love in the family but there is also tension which is exacerbated by their grief and being forced into close proximity day after day. As the week progresses, each sibling has personal revelations and secrets are exposed.

 I had the chance, with some other bloggers, to speak with Jonathan Tropper about the movie and the book to move transformation. I was especially interested in his thoughts as the author and screenwriter on the differences between the two media and the impact on his story.

  What do you think TV and movies can do better than books in telling a story? What can books do better than something on screen?

A movie has the benefit of being able to transport for an hour and a half, two hours with no interruptions and give you the whole story and take you on the entire journey in a kind of encapsulated way.  And you just sit back and watch it all unfold...the book kind of lingers.  But you have to kind of refocus.  So, that's also the plus of the book is that you can live with the characters in the book over a period of weeks, whereas you know a movie you're done in two hours . . .I think you know the rest is kind of obvious.  The movies can give you score, and the movies can give you mood, and the movies can give you sort of wonderfully comedic actors who can make you laugh in a way that the narrative can't.

And on the other hand, the book can take you much deeper into their minds and their emotional states and really make you understand them in a way that in a movie sometimes you really have to do that math yourself.

One thing I definitely noticed in the movie is the score/soundtrack - it enhanced my enjoyment of the story and the nostalgic selection of 80's and 90's tunes was perfect for a group of siblings returning to their childhood home. It certainly added to the ability of the movie to transport.

I noticed while watching the movie that I felt more empathetic to Judd (played by Jason Bateman) than I did while reading the book. I was interested to hear Jonathan Tropper's thoughts on my different reactions to the character in the movie versus the book:

There's two things there that you're reacting to.  The first is I think just that you know Jason Bateman happens to be a very charming guy.  He’s extremely likable.  And he brings that into whatever he does.

But beyond that, in the book I could allow the character to be slightly more reprehensible and slightly less sympathetic because you can kind of do that in literature and still redeem the character because I'm giving you the inner workings of his mind.

So, I'm sort of bringing you to a place where you understand.  And even if you find some of his behavior a little outrageous, in the movie because I can't make you privy to the inner workings of his mind and his thought process, I have to work with him a little harder to make sure I'm not making him you know too much of an asshole.

And so, there is some balance in that, where there are certain things he did in the book that I wouldn't have him do in the movie because I wouldn't be able to explain to you why he's doing it.

Screenplay writer and author, Jonathan Tropper (on set with book in hand)

Finally, I observed that the movie is so close to the book - which as a lover of the book, I appreciated. Tropper, as the screenwriter, was able to ensure the story stayed close to the one he wrote in the book but he also gave credit to the director (Shawn Levy) saying "he [Shawn Levy] was just such a fan of the book that we were actually in this strangely reverse position where the director was actually pushing me to be truer to my own source material than I was being".

This book is a wonderful book to movie transformation and I enjoyed hearing Tropper's thoughts on the differences between the media and how he brought the characters to life in the movie versus in the book.

If you are looking for a comedy, with just the right touch of sentimentality (I cried twice during the movie), see This Is Where I Leave You - - it opens today (Sep 19th) at theaters nationwide.  

Review: Big Brother by Lionel Shriver

Big Brother by Lionel Shriver is the story of Pandora Halfdonarson who is trapped between her recently obese brother and her aggressively fit, restrictive husband. Through Pandora and her navigation of these two diametrically opposed loved ones in her life, Shriver tackles the loaded and controversial topics of fat, diets, control and shame. Layered on top of obesity and its consequences, Shriver also explores the sibling relationship and attempts to answer the questions of whether someone can really be saved by another, how far the responsibility of siblings to take care of each other extends and whether blood really is thicker than water. This ambitious book constantly prompts you to think.

 Pandora Halfdonarson lives in Iowa with her husband, Fletcher, and his two teenage children from a previous marriage. Pandora had been a caterer when they met and prepared lavish meals for her then fiance. But Fletcher has taken on an almost religious discipline about eating and exercise; his meals are sparse and nutrient dense and he cycles for hours each day. Concurrent with, but ostensibly not because of, Fletcher's move towards the healthiest lifestyle, Pandora shutters her catering business and falls into a career creating custom made talking dolls for her business "Baby Monotony". Pandora's brother, Edison, is a jazz musician living in New York City but she receives a call from his friend asking Pandora if she can help out her brother by letting him come to visit. Concerned as to what may be going on, Pandora sends Edison money and tells him to book a flight. She is stunned when she meets him at the airport and sees that her brother has gained 200 pounds and is morbidly obese.

 The tension on their arrival home is almost immediate and Pandora worries about Fletcher or the children insulting her brother or reacting to his size without thinking. Everyone is repulsed by his size but he is Pandora's brother and her revulsion is tinged with sympathy and a desire to protect her brother. Pandora and Fletcher's relationship had cracks prior to Edison's arrival but having this literally larger than life character in their home coupled with all he brings along with him strain things even further. Edison cooks up large batches of chocolate chip pancakes for this household that eschews white flour; in addition to pushing food on them, his presence forces a confrontation of their feelings about excess, lack of control and indulgence. As things escalate at home, Pandora is forced to choose between her brother and husband.

My Thoughts
Fat is an important but loaded topic in society today and it is an important but loaded topic in my own life - I have struggled with weight and an eating disorder for most of my life. Having grown up in a, at times, obsessively health conscious home and even holding many of those beliefs myself despite my size, I am well-acquainted with the battle between self-loathing and indulgence that accompanies obesity.  Even during the times in my life when I have been thin, I have been obsessed with trying to maintain that and to neutralize food to a mere source of nourishment and not to imbue it with all this other meaning. Shriver expertly navigates this battle in Big Brother by placing Pandora between Edison and Fletcher. Fletcher represents the militant, "food only as fuel" camp while Edison represents the indulgent, "food as comfort" camp.  Pandora's own approach to food lies somewhere in between.  For example, here she describes her philosophy on food:

I propose: food is by nature elusive. More concept than substance, food is the idea of satisfaction, far more powerful than satisfaction itself, which is why diet can exert the sway of religion or political zealotry. Not irresistible tastiness but the very failure of food to reward if what drives us to eat more of it. The most sumptuous experience of ingestion is in-between: remembering the last bite and looking forward to the next one. The actual eating part almost doesn't happen. This near-total inability to deliver is what makes the pleasures of the table so tantalizing, and also so dangerous.

Pandora always represents the more balanced and, at times, conflicted point of view.

The relationship between Pandora and Edison is also central to this novel and, although complicated and brought to the fore by Edison's descent into "slow-motion suicide by pie", exists outside of Edison's obesity. Throughout their difficult childhood, Pandora and Edison relied on each to get through with a "ferocity of mutual clinging".

Often ashamed of tugging the children's loyalties in opposite directions, the parents fail to grasp their kids' salvation: the children's uppermost loyalty is to each other. . . . Edison and I did rat each other out from time to time, but they were isolated strategic sorties in the complex politics of the playroom about which our parents knew nothing. We used our Mom and Dad as weapons in the far more central relationship to one another. Certainly with Tanner and Cody, I tried never to forget: children know your secrets. You do not know theirs.

Sharp, intelligent writing allows challenging topics to be explored and to resonate for the reader. This book challenges you to consider your own visceral reactions to topics such as obesity and accountability to family members. You are also never completely sure where Pandora stands - there is sympathy for her brother, a desire to protect him but also disgust and frustration with his lack of control.  Although uncomfortable at times with characters I didn't always like, Big Brother is definitely on my list for Best Reads of 2013.

You can read other reviews of the book from those on the tour .

Thank you to the publisher for providing an ARC for review as part of the tour.