Audiobook Review: We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas

We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas (narrated by Mare Winningham; 20 hours 51 minutes) opens in Woodside, Queens in the home of young Eileen Tumulty. The daughter of Irish immigrants, Eileen is an old soul who faces adult issues at a young age as she watches her mother struggle with alcohol. She is also acutely aware of the fact that her family has not "arrived" and is striving to have enough and to better themselves. Eileen takes this struggle very much to heart and begins an upward climb to acceptance and respectability which she believes comes with financial security. As the book continues, she marries Ed Leary and gives birth to a son, Connell. Together they face the changing face of their neighborhood in Jackson Heights, a health crisis and the realization that, despite hard work and tenacity, the American Dream may remain that little bit out of reach. Beyond just Eileen's story, this novel is the story of mid century American life through to present.

Eileen's story begins as the daughter of Irish immigrants in Queens, NY. Her father, Big Mike, is well known in the neighborhood and the life of the party which is contrasted by her mother who is fragile and turns to alcohol to cope. Eileen identifies more with her father and aims to please him by being a good student and wanting to better herself. When her father tells her he dreams that she will one day own a home as opposed to renting as he and her mother have done, Eileen puts that goal in her sights and goes about achieving it. When she meets Ed Leary, she sees a man who can provide stability but also work with her towards her goals. They do ultimately buy a multi-family home in Jackson Heights but it is Eileen that is the driving force behind making that happen and she is dismayed at Ed's lack of drive towards the goal.

The theme of moving up continues as Jackson Heights begins to change - it becomes more urban and multi-cultural. Eileen sets her sights on Bronxville - an upscale bedroom community with stately homes.  Despite it being quite a stretch financially, the Leary's move to the new neighborhood but Eileen still doesn't feel comfortable - that reaching instilled in her at a young age is nearly impossible to satisfy. In this quote, Eileen considers her inability to find satisfaction:

 “The fact that they were there, that everything they owned wasn’t enough somehow, disturbed her, suggesting a bottomlessness to certain kinds of unhappiness."

 Shortly after their move to Bronxville, however, Ed Leary receives a devastating diagnosis which changes the family's trajectory and pushes the concerns about fitting in to the backseat.

My Thoughts
This powerful novel moved me and is one I won't soon forget. There is so much familiar to me in this book - from the locations throughout Queens (I also grew up in the borough) to Eileen's struggle to make her father proud by doing better than he did thereby making his sacrifices and hard work worthwhile. But as much as this book reflected my own personal experience, it is so powerful because it reflects the quiet drama of every family's lives throughout the years. There is beauty in the capture of everyday celebrations and losses (most especially the losses) and the words the author chooses to describe these moments provide insight you don't understand until you read it.

I listened to this book on audio - the fact that it is over 20 hours long but I found myself looking for more opportunities to listen is a testament to the powerful story told by the author. The narrator, Mare Winningham, is new to me but her voice was perfect for this story largely told from Eileen's point of view.  I do, however, think this would also be a good book to read in print - the sentences are so well crafted, it would be nice to re-read and savor them.  Whether in print or audio, this is definitely the best book I have read in 2014.

Note: Special thanks to Diane of Book Chick Di and Joanne of Lakeside Musing - they both recommended this book and I am glad they led me to it!

Weekend Cooking: Coconut 24/7 by Pat Crocker

It seems that everywhere I look these days, I see coconut - coconut water, coconut milk, coconut oil and even coconut flavored teas! In addition to it's delicious taste, coconut has a lot of health benefits and it is this feature which is contributing to its current surge in popularity. In Coconut 24/7, Pat Crocker, discusses the various benefits of coconut and then provides recipes featuring coconut from shakes and apps to entrees. In an age where recipes abound on Pinterest and elsewhere, I appreciate that this book added a lot of discussion about the health benefits of coconut and how to store and cook with it to maintain all those benefits.

 The book opens with a primer on the coconut and the various forms in which you can cook with it - the author even covers how to extract milk and water from a fresh coconut. Realistically, that is not going to happen in my life so I was glad she then moved on to discussing the coconut products you get off the shelf. I began using coconut milk in a mango protein smoothie this summer (tastes like the tropics!) so I was particularly interested in her discussion of coconut milk. In general, the author advocates limiting the processing of the coconut (hence the detail on how to extract milk from the raw coconut) so she recommends looking at coconut milk packages for unwanted ingredients like cane sugar, carrageenan and inulin. She also recommends selecting milk in the tetra packages rather than cans which can be tainted with BPA. Based on a review of the carton currently in my refrigerator, I am going to need to look a little harder for a less processed version. This was definitely eye-opening for me since I thought I was being "healthy" as I enjoyed my tropical smoothie.

 After the coconut primer, the book is separated into meal categories - breakfast, lunch, dinner, appetizers and snacks, spice blends, sauces and dressings, beverages, and desserts. The final chapter is "spa recipes" and covers how to make your own body products, like hand cream, using coconut products. Probably a little ambitious for me so I focused on the recipes. I wanted to expand beyond my smoothies and the entrees chapter offered a lot that appealed to me. I especially liked this Coconut Curry Chicken - it reminded me of many of the great dishes I had while in Thailand:

Coconut Curry Chicken

2 tbsp coconut flour
1 tsp sea salt
8 chicken thighs
2 tbsp melted coconut oil
2 onions, coarsely chopped
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp grated ginger
3 tbsp Madras Curry Spice Blend
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup coconut milk
1 banana, coarsely chopped
1 sweet potato, coarsely chopped
1 bay leaf

1. In a flat bowl or pie plate, combine flour and salt, Dredge chicken thighs to coat. Reserve extra flour mixture

2. In a dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat.  Add chicken thighs and cook for 10 minutes or until browned well on all sides. Transfer to a plate and set aside.

3. Drain all but 2 tablespoons of oil in the pot. Add onions and saute for 5 minutes. Add garlic, ginger and curry spice blend and cook stirring constantly, for 2 minutes or until onions are soft. Return reserved chicken to the pot along with any reserved flour mixture. Add broth and milk. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and add banana, sweet potato and bay leaf. Cover and simmer for 25 minutes or until potato is fork-tender and chicken is cooked through and reaches 160 degrees on a meat thermometer.

This dish is delicious! If you are interested in how to incorporate coconut into your diet in a healthy but delicious way, I recommend trying this cookbook.

Weekend Cooking is hosted by Beth Fish Reads and is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, quotations, photographs. If your post is even vaguely foodie, feel free to grab the button and link up anytime over the weekend. You do not have to post on the weekend. Please link to your specific post, not your blog's home page. For more information, see the welcome post.

Review: The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell

The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell: The Bird family lives in a lovely home in the Cotswolds in England. The four Bird children live what appears to be a charmed childhood being doted on by their mother, Lorelei,  who is a free spirit and delights in celebrating traditions with her family and creating memories. As is often the case, however, all is not as perfect as it appears. Behind the beautifully choreographed Easter egg hunts in the garden and the lovely dinners, is an inability to face anything uncomfortable. Lorelei copes by collecting things and this collecting soon turns to hoarding which slowly smothers this family. With this dysfunction as its backdrop, the family faces a tragedy and the trajectory of each member's life is changed.

Free-spirited Lorelei embraces being a mother and creates a lovely home for her family. She wants them all around her and enjoy nothing more than being home. She fills the walls in their home with the children's art and collects every memento of the passing years for each child. As the children get a little older, however, they want to spread their wings to a live outside the home; in response, Lorelei clings all the harder to them and adds more things to her "collection" - of course, all this stuff becomes a wedge between her and the family and only drives them further away.

My Thoughts
Hoarding is an uncomfortable topic - it is hard to imagine how someone could let things get so out of control.  Of course, it is not unlike many other addictions and beneath the compulsion is a person who is hurting and trying to fill a void. With this in mind, I felt much sympathy for Lorelei and even found her progression  from collecting to hoarding fascinating.  Thankfully, however, this book was not only about Lorelei and her hoarding.

The real story of the book is the ripple effect of dysfunction through this family. Chapter by chapter, the author reveals a little more about each of the children through the years into adulthood and about each of the parents. Between the impact of growing up in this home that slowly closed in on them and the horrible tragedy they all face one Easter, each family member had their fair share of issues to deal with and you see the effects of all that play out in their adult lives.

This book is compelling and I found myself hungrily reading to see what happens with each character.  Although not everyone has grown up with a hoarder, most face their own versions of family dysfunction in whatever degree. The family drama makes this book relatable while the degree and eccentricity this family faces makes it fascinating.  Highly recommend.

Sunday Salon: December 7, 2014

The Scene: 10:45 am  - back home in my warm apartment after taking Prince out for a blustery Sunday morning walk.  Despite being out for 90 minutes including a romp in the dog park, he is still running around me now with a squeak toy demanding attention.

 Reading: I was on vacation (I know, again, but all my vacation somehow got put off until year end) with the family for Thanksgiving week and I got some welcome reading time.  I polished off Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty - I couldn't put it down.  I enjoyed her last novel, The Husband' Secret, so was relieved that I also liked this one. I have decided to get back to some books that I put down over the course of the year but want to finish so right now I am reading The Wife, The Maid and The Mistress. 

Tortola, B.V.I

 Listening: While away,  I finished We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas and cannot say enough good things about it (review coming soon!) but I found myself looking for excuses to walk so I could get some listening in.  My cab fares are down and my Fitbit is very happy - thank you Matthew Thomas! On a serious note, I found this novel very affecting and know it will stay with me for a long time.

 Blogging: Thank you all for your comments on my last Sunday Salon post when I acknowledged that I am struggling with the blog and trying to decide whether to keep going with it.  I have recently had a writing streak and have a bunch of posts in the can ready to go so I am feeling more optimistic.  It's been fun revisiting the books I have read this year now that I am finally writing posts about them.  Last week, I posted a review of Americanah (audiobook).

Watching : Finally saw the Radio City Christmas Spectacular - I have lived in NYC practically my entire life but had never seen the iconic show with the Rockettes.  It was a wonderful 90 minutes and really put me in the Christmas spirit.  We started the evening with dinner at the Sea Grill which is on the ice at Rock Center and witnessed three proposals on ice during dinner.  The concierge told us during the season, there are up to 5 proposals each night and that there is an entire package offered by the rink that allows the proposal to take place on the ice.

 Looking Forward To: Another trip! I recently decided to go to Cape Town over New Year's - I have a friend working in South Africa right now and it just came together. I am looking forward to seeing her and seeing Cape Town again - I was there once before for work but it was a quick trip.  This time I am going to add a few days at Victoria Falls.  I love planning a trip!

Audiobook Review: Americanah by Chimamamda Ngozi Adichie

Americanah by Chimamamda Ngozi Adichie (narrated by Adjoa Andoh; 17 hours and 28 minutes) tackles many big themes - immigration, race and class - in a story about a young couple who are separated when they both leave military-ruled Nigeria for the West. Ifemelu and Obinze meet in school in Nigeria and quickly fall for each but with their homeland under dictatorship they, like many of their peers, decide they must leave Nigeria. Ifemelu departs for the US where she has some family and Obinze initially intends to follow her but then is not allowed to enter the US and he goes to London. The book follows each of their stories as emigrants separately until they both return to Nigeria and reconnect. At that point, the book follows them together again as they face returning to a Nigeria they left and the realization that their lives have become more complicated.

When Ifemelu arrives in the US, she faces racism for the first time and in addition to adjusting to a new country, she also struggles with learning about "American blacks" (AB) and "non American blacks" (NAB). With the benefit of an outsider's perspective who is also a member of the race facing discrimination, Ifemelu's observations on the topic are incisive. She begins writing a blog about her experiences which is popular but controversial. Ifemelu is conflicted about her life in the US - on one hand, she welcomes the freedom and the bounty of options available in the US but, on the other hand, she does not understand the constant optimism and apparent lack of grit she finds in her new home. 

Obinze's immigration takes a different route when he ultimately ends up living illegally in London. This educated, self-assured man is relegated to poorly paying jobs and living on the fringes of society. He enters into an agreement for an arranged marriage that will guarantee his British citizenship. Although he thinks of Ifemelu frequently, Obinze does not reach out to her and continues to live a lie in his new homeland. Ultimately, he is deported to Nigeria where he marries a woman and becomes a successful businessman. He continues to think of Ifemelu and is reunited with her when she returns to Nigeria from the States.

My Thoughts
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found myself stopping often on walks to consider the beauty of the sentences created by the author. I wish I also read this book in print so that I could underline passages and quotes because they so perfectly expressed a concept. This book is about Ifemelu and Obinze but their stories, individually and together, are really just a vehicle for the themes the author addresses in this wide ranging novel - themes of immigration, race and class.  It certainly has given me much to consider and months later I find myself reflecting on  the book and its characters. This is the first audiobook I have listened to by narrator Adjoa Andoh (others may be familiar with her as the narrator of Alexander McCall Smith's No.1 Ladies Detective Agency) - her British accent tinged with an African twang is perfect for this novel and its main characters although her narration of American characters sounded a bit generic.  Overall, I recommend this audiobook and also recommend the print version to better enjoy the excellent writing.

Sunday Salon: October 26, 2014

The Scene: 5:45 am (Pacific Time) - am in SFO visiting friends so thought I would use the time difference making me a morning person and get some blogging done - finally!!

Reading: Lots of time to read this week with the 5+ hour flight out here so I finished most of the newest Shopaholic book by Sophie Kinsella - Shopaholic to the Stars. What an enjoyable way to spend a flight! Every time I pick up one of these books, I secretly worry that I will have outgrown Becky's antics or find it all too far fetched but the author does such a good job of making Becky loveable that I am never disappointed!

I had the chance this week to attend a fun event in NYC celebrating the author and her new book - Girls Night Out with Sophie Kinsella.  The event was held at the Red Door Spa - Union Square and in addition to the author speaking and signing, they had delicious food, wine and little spa stations dotted through out where people were getting make-up applied and having custom-matched foundation mixed up.  A fun way to spend a Monday for sure!  Unfortunately, my phone died as I walked in that night so I don't have pics of the festivities but you can check them out at Random House's Facebook Page.  As you can see by the pics, Random House does an excellent job with these events - they attend to every detail.  If you are in NY in November, I recommend joining them for their Open House on Friday, November 14th.  I attended the first one a few years ago and it was a great day of books, authors and mingling.  Let me know in the comments if you plan to be there this year.

Got my book autographed!

Listening: On the recommendation of Diane (from Bookchick Di), I am listening to We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas. So far I am really enjoying it and keep trying to find excuses to settle in with it (out for walks, cleaning the apartment).

 

Blogging: Much like California, this blog has hit a dry patch.  I apologize for the long absences between posts for most of this year.  I have been reading books and following many of your blogs, but somehow haven't always been able to muster the time and energy to settle down and blog here. As many of you know, I had surgery earlier this year and used that as a catalyst to get serious about getting back into shape and losing weight.  It has been a great year and I am thrilled with the results but honestly that has taken a lot of my attention.  As I rediscovered jogging, boot camp and just generally moving a lot more, it has been hard to sit and write at times. I find myself more readily drawn to Twitter and Instagram for quick updates.   As the year comes to a close, I intend to make a decision about the blog.  I will either reinvigorate things here or decide that it is time to move on.  Thanks for staying with me through this and please stay tuned!  If you have secrets for balancing blogging and keeping things fresh, please leave them in the comments!


Watching : Not much right now - I had been on vacation to Ireland for 10 days and then just back a few days before coming out here so haven't been watching much.  I will have stuff stockpiled when I get back to TV watching.

Looking Forward To: Getting my pics from Ireland downloaded from my DSLR - I was snap happy!  We had gorgeous weather (NEVER a given in Ireland) so everything looked that bit more picturesque. I absolutely love it there and this trip we got to some sights that either I saw as a kid and don't remember or saw for this first time on this trip including the Cliffs of Moher and the Giant's Causeway. Below is an iPhone pic of each from my trip.  I have some more pics on Instagram if you are interested.

Giant's Causeway

Cliffs of Moher (with Rainbow!)

Grateful: For the chance to travel to great destinations like Ireland and San Francisco - and for the comforts of home when I return!

Review: Land of Dreams by Kate Kerrigan

Land of Dreams by Kate Kerrigan is the third book in the series which features Ellie Hogan who leaves Ireland and starts her life anew in New York. In this installment, Ellie ends up in LA after her oldest son takes off there to pursue a career in acting. While in LA, Ellie, now almost 50, reflects on her life to date and has some important revelations about how she has arrived in this point in life and what matters to her most.

When Ellie's son Leo runs away from his boarding school to follow an agent to LA to be part of the movies, Ellie's maternal instinct kicks in and she immediately packs up to travel across the country and bring her boy home. Recently widowed when her second husband is killed in Pearl Harbor, Ellie is alone again and her boys are all she has - they are her purpose and she must protect them. She intends to locate her son and immediately return to NY with him but when she sees her shy, reserved son come alive at the prospect of a career in acting she relents and decides to stay while Leo completes his contract with Paramount. Always one to gather a community around her, Ellie brings out the elderly Bridie, an Irish woman that has been like a mother to Ellie and a Nan to her sons, to live with her and the boys. She also takes in Freddie, Leo's down on his luck agent, and Freddie's vacuous girlfriend Crystal. Together they pass their days adjusting to life in sunny California at the fringes of the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle.

Despite swearing off men following the loss of two husbands, Ellie finds herself captivated and pursued by Stan, a Polish composer who writes scores for Hollywood films. Ellie is her own worst enemy in her relationship with Stan and tries to sabotage it at every turn but she can't deny her feelings for him and constantly finds herself back with him. While coping with her relationship with Stan, she is also facing the decline of her dear friend, Bridie. Bridie's tough exterior can't hide the onset of dementia and Ellie must dedicate herself to keeping Bridie safe while maintaining the older woman's dignity.

My Thoughts
I really enjoyed the first two books in this series (my review of Ellis Island and my review of City of Hope) so I was happy to "meet" Ellie again in this final installment. She is as feisty as ever but her fire is tinged with self awareness - she is now fifty and spends much of the book reflecting on the choices that have gotten her to this point in her life and seeing patterns in her behavior. This maturity in Ellie is appealing and tempers some of her more impulsive schemes. Perhaps my favorite part of this book is the relationship between Ellie and Bridie - tough Bridie tells it like it us but also is vulnerable as old age begins to take its toll.  She is aware that she is failing but is also fiercely proud and fights to maintain her dignity.  Ellie rises to this challenge and takes care of Bridie as she would if Bridie were her mother.  Bridie provides continuity in Ellie's story as she has been with her since she first arrived in the US and she also creates an opportunity for Ellie to show her gentler side as she cares for the older woman.

Although it is the third book in a series, Land of Dreams can stand on his own - the author references what happened in the first two books enough to make the connections to this story. But I feel the real strength in the book is Ellie and you can appreciate her so much more if you have read the first two books.  If you read Land of Dreams first, go back and read the other two!