Review: Lucky Child by Loung Ung

Loung Ung lived in Cambodia with her family. When the Khmer Rouge assumed control of the country in the seventies, much of her family were brutally murdered. Ung recounts that period of her life in First They Killed My Father; Lucky Child continues with the story of her immigration to the United States at the age of ten and her journey back to Cambodia for the sister she left behind. This memoir poignantly captures the immigrant experience of Luong but it also speaks to the power of a sibling connection and how it drives Luong back to a place where she had suffered so much.

The memoir opens with Loung’s arrival in Vermont from Cambodia with her brother and sister in law. We learn that they have left behind family members including their sister Chou because there wasn’t enough money to take everyone - as the youngest, Loung is selected as the “lucky child”. There is a heart wrenching parting scene as Loung leaves her village to travel to the US and is literally pulled away from her last surviving sister and clings on to her until their hands no longer touch. The absence of the touch of her sister’s hand and the guilt over being the chosen one will haunt Loung as she settles into her life in Vermont.

The Ungs face typical immigrant challenges as they settle into their new lives. Even as their plane from Cambodia descends to the airport, Loung’s sister in law insists she put on a clean new shirt so she doesn’t look “off the boat”. Before even setting foot on foreign soil, the Ung’s are aware of their otherness and strive to minimize and conceal it. Of course, their immigrant story is heightened by all they have left behind and the memories that haunt them- I can’t imagine bearing the insults which are often part of assimilation while also mourning the loss of so many family members. Loung and her brother Meng are not only alone in the United States but truly alone in the world after the deaths of  their siblings and parents.

In many ways, their sister Chou is equally alone in Cambodia. As the chapters alternate between Luong’s new life in the United States with Chou’s in Cambodia, a contrast is drawn between their lives but there is also an interesting parallel.  This juxtaposition serves as a reminder of no matter the struggles faced by immigrants, often the life they have left behind is even more difficult. As Loung faces the sting of shame when she uses food stamps, Chou struggles to have enough rice for each meal. Chou is surrounded by the aftermath of the Khmer Rouge regime including all the suffering of a people in a land that has been systematically decimated. Luong is constantly haunted by the memories of what she witnessed while in Cambodia and the loss of those closest to her.

Lucky Child is very readable, despite the sometimes difficult subject matter, and I had to remind myself several times that this was a memoir and not a work of fiction. Luong tells her story with such honesty but also without sentimentality. She frankly recounts her experiences without a trace of self-pity. This very straightforward style adds to the power of the book. In Lucky Child, Loung bears witness to the aftermath of the horror of the genocide in Cambodia and in doing so ensures the atrocities are not forgotten.

Lucky Child is the second book by Loung Ung - her third book, Lulu in the Sky picks up where Lucky Child leaves off and recounts her move into adulthood. You can see reviews of all of Ung's books by checking out the other stops on the TLC Book Tour. 

Review: O Come Ye Back to Ireland by Niall Williams and Christine Breen

O Come Ye Back to Ireland by Niall Williams and Christine Breen is an engaging memoir about the couple's first year in County Clare, Ireland. They moved to the quiet, rural setting from their busy, urban lives in New York City. The book recounts their losses and their revelations during the year and everything the learned along the way. It almost made me pick up and move to my own little oasis in Ireland . . . almost.

Christine Breen is the American born daughter of Irish parents attending University College Dublin when she meets Niall Williams who was born in Ireland's capital city. Ultimately, they marry and set up life in NY with jobs in Manhattan and a home just outside the city. Christine's family home in Kiltumper, West Clare becomes available after the death of her uncle and a seed is planted as she finds herself inexplicably drawn back there. At the same time, the couple has begun to grown weary of their lives in the city. Niall writes:

It [Kiltumper] struck us as so utterly different from anywhere we had ever been, so remote, so very rural. Each time we shook our heads, and returned to New York. Why then did we change our minds and commit ourselves to the West of Ireland? Because when we walked up the streets of Manhattan too many people pushed too hard to cross the street or squeezed too hard to get into too few subways ...And there would suddenly be the sense of a place far from the rushing streets, a place remote from the extravagant, urgent business of today, an old place growing older in the rain.

Clare Coastline - credit

After wrestling with the pros and cons of such a big move - afterall, the couple were moving to Ireland in the 80's at the height of great emigration from Ireland - they decide to take the leap and head for the West of Ireland. The book recounts their initial shocks and struggles as they try to adjust to life in a very rural, albeit picturesque, rugged West Clare. They arrive to their cottage which is in need of a lot of work and has little furniture and try to make it a home. Something as seemingly simple as purchasing a car becomes an ordeal as they try to navigate the rules of road taxes and licenses; this is made all the more difficult by the lack of direct dial telephone service in their small village. The convenience of picking up the phone and trying to get something "sorted" was not to be had. So the couple waited in relative isolation as they tried to get the many pieces of their life in Ireland in order - home, car, furniture. Niall speaks here to that isolation:

We saw a clearing in the south; the more land we saw from the window, the less isolated we felt. .... to Chris and me the overwhelming gloom of sheer aloneness that hangs in the air in rural Ireland is a potent force. It is at once the greatest positive and negative thing about the countryside

Village, Clare - credit

The people of their village, however, are their salvation. The steady couple next door visits with freshly made food and brings welcome company on cold, otherwise lonely evenings. Michael and Pauline head to the bog to help Niall and Christine with the back breaking work of cutting the turf - turf which is necessary to heat their home and cook their food but requires a grueling series of steps over many weeks and months to get it ready to burn. The story of their first Christmas and the story of the death of a much loved woman in the village perfectly highlights the tight knit farming community they had become part. In both instances, all the families in the village pull together to cook and bake readying themselves for visitors and they go to each others homes to share a bit of food and some stories. It is the neighbors that ultimately sustain Christine and Niall in that first year of adjustment.  

My Thoughts 
I was captivated by this book on many levels. First and foremost, it is very well written - there is almost a lyrical tone to many of the passages. There is a touch of humor as the couple muse at the new world in which they find themselves. Perhaps most of all, however, is the setting. The West of Ireland, although rugged and spare, has a certain draw. As I have mentioned before on the blog, my Mom is from the West and we went "home" to Ireland most summers to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in a small farming village not unlike Kiltumper. Much of what amazed and frustrated them about the area were things I could relate to and reminded me of the happy times we spent in Ireland. Every time I visit I consider whether or not I could live there and feel pulled to the country; each time, however, I decide it is too big of change. Perhaps that is why the story of this couple seems especially compelling.

Emigration is the theme on which this book is built and that seems appropriate in a country which has in many ways been defined by waves of emigration. This scene described by Niall so perfectly captures the reality of emigration:

To know the real story of the West of Ireland, spend a day in Shannon Airport at the foot of the stairs to the departure lounge. They come in little clusters, farming families dressed in their best clothes, with a son or daughter moving slightly ahead in anticipation of the dreaded moment of goodbye. Mothers' faces are damp with tears, fathers are stiff with emotion, and they all grasp the rails of the moving stairs. It is joyous and sad at once. An old Irish image, the farewell has lived on through centuries of immigration and is as real today as it ever was . . . . Shannon airport is a an emotional place for people in the West. More than an airport, it is an escape hatch to America for the young and the symbol of Ireland's massive unemployment problem.

The image of traveling to Shannon in our best is very vivid for me as I remember seeing my grandfather in his suit when we came through arrivals in Shannon at the beginning of our trip and in that same suit with tears in his eyes as we went back up to Shannon six weeks later to return to NY. I never realized it then but my grandparents had to relive the farewells and departures every year without knowing if we would make it back - or they would be there- the next year. Obviously I felt a personal connection to this book but even without that this is a charming memoir about the bravery to start all over and what you learn along the way. It gives a peek into real Irish country life and all that comes along with it. If you like Ireland or memoirs or stories about starting over, you will find something to love in this book.

I never would have found this book if not for fellow blogger Kristen at Booknaround - I often find gems in her reviews and thank her for introducing me to this book!

Review: Where's My Wand? by Eric Poole

Where's My Wand? by Eric Poole is the author's memoir about growing up in the 70's as a young boy who knows he feels different from his peers but hasn't yet realized he is gay - the content of the memoir is nicely summed up in the subtitle "One Boy's Magical Triumph Over Alienation and Shag Carpeting". He (and the rest of the family) live in fear of their neurotic mother who requires that carpet be raked after walking on it to remove any evidence of footprints and who Eric refers to as "General Patton in pedal pushers".  The scenes with his mother are laugh out loud funny and they nicely balance the more poignant moments as Eric faces bullying in school, fear about why he is so different from his peers and anxiety about his parents' constant fighting.

As a young boy, Eric is obsessed with the TV show "Bewitched" (I can relate - I named my baby doll Tabitha after the baby on the show) and especially likes the grandmother Endora; he fashions a cape out of an old bedspread and seeks comfort in the cape whenever things are going awry.  He begins to believe the cape imbues him with magic powers after a few experiences where he makes a wish while in the cape which comes true.  The cape is really a security blanket for Eric and he runs to the basement to secretly wrap himself in it whenever things get tough.  And things do get tough . . .

The entire household is on pins and needles around Eric's mother who has an obsessive need for order and cleanliness (see raking of carpet above) and demands that the family comply with her demands.   Here Eric describes his and his sister's trepidation as they awaited their mother's arrival home from work:

Val and I prepared for the theatrics that often accompanied Mother's nightly return.  Our afternoon attempts to render the house unlived in, free of all traces of human habitation, usually failed on a scale that could not be measured by existing devices, as her screams of frustration, -"GOD IN HEAVENNNN!!" - pierced the evening sky. "WHY, GOD, WHY IS THERE WATER IN THIS SINK?"

These tense scenes send Eric to the basement to wrap himself in the bedspread and try to conjure up the lovely family on "Bewitched" who, although they share his family's fascination with shag carpeting, are free of screaming and fighting.

School offers little refuge  - Eric is an outsider and bullied by the other children and even the teacher doesn't provide much protection.  After a particularly bad day, Eric heads to the basement:

Back in the basement, I visualized that moment, contemplating as much of the humiliation as I could bear. Then - with a dramatic wave of my bedspread-laden arms, I disappeared  . . . to return  to the beginning of the school year.

Transported to the beginning of the year, Eric envisions a teacher who is kind and attentive to him and the absence of Tim, his school bully.  The scenes are described with the author's trademark wit but there is something very sad about a young boy who feels so ostracized at school.

Eric was a boy with a lot on his little shoulders but like every child finding their way to young adulthood he triumphs over so many of his burdens.  And despite his parents' constant fighting and "General Patton's" crazy obsession with cleanliness, Eric is clearly loved and supported by his family.  This memoir is thoroughly enjoyable and perfectly mixes witty humor with poignancy that is so much a part of coming of age.  And it has, perhaps, one of the best titles ever - I think my new mantra may be "Where's My Wand"!

I received a copy of this book to review from Anna at FSB Associates

Review: The Next 15 Minutes by Kim Kircher

The Next 15 Minutes: Strength From the Top of the Mountain is a memoir by Kim Kircher, a ski patroller who works the slopes at a ski resort in Washington state; she rescues skiers and performs avalanche control. The book, although it talks about that part of her life, is about the experience of watching helplessly as her husband's health deteriorated while he waited for a life-saving liver transplant. In beautifully written prose, she draws parallels between her life as a mountain rescuer and her life as wife to her gravely ill husband. She deftly translates the survival skills honed on the mountain to surviving the challenging months waiting for a liver to come available for her husband.

Kim Kircher is used to living life on the edge - as a ski patroller she takes calculated risks in setting explosives to cause avalanches on at risk slopes and runs. By identifying the slopes most at risk for an avalanche and forcing an avalanche, the ski patrol ensures the unpredictable slope doesn't give way while skiers are on it later in the day. She describes a number of harrowing scenes in which she just escapes ahead of the avalanche or where the fuse to her explosive is burning dangerously close to her hand. Although these situations are risky, Kim is totally in control of the risk - in many ways, she lives her life trying to control risk whether it be by performing avalanche control or by managing her blood sugar carefully to stave off the long term damage from her diabetes. When her husband becomes seriously ill and needs a liver transplant to survive, however, she is decidedly out of control and is faced with a situation where can't manage every detail and thereby exert control over something but instead just needs to navigate and take things as they come. She navigates much the way one does on a steep and windy ski slope - taking it in little pieces, letting the turns take you instead of fighting them, taking strength from recognizing how much you have already tackled and letting that strength get you to bottom of the mountain.

Kim and her husband John's story is compelling - they are both young, newly married and living life to the fullest when John became so ill and the course of their lives changes. But the compelling story is not what makes this memoir so good - it is the quality of the writing. I really enjoy a good memoir but good writing is not always a given in the genre - often the memoir's draw is its subject or story but the writing may not impress.  Kircher, however, writes beautifully with tremendous insight and articulates emotions that really resonate with the reader. For example, in the following passage, Kim reflects on a conversation with her mother while she sits in the waiting room at the Mayo Clinic:

Now in Rochester, I had to admit it. I couldn't do this alone. But I was afraid that around Mom, my mask of strength would fall. She'd find a chink in my armor. She'd reach into that small entry with her slender fingers and extract handfuls of my sorrow, holding it for herself, as if by harboring my pain, she could keep it from me.

Here she draws a parallel between the changes to slopes over time and changes that happen to individuals as they face stressors:

But once tracked, snow changed forever, losing its soft, fluffy nature and becoming work-hardened. Those turns stabilized the snowpack against avalanches. Working snow helped it withstand the harsh rigors of stress and weather. It strengthened under stress, much like the human intellect. Like tracks through a once-naive enthusiasm, life had a away of hardening a person.

It may be grim to think about life hardening a person but also realistic and laced with hope because, like the snowpack, we strengthen under stress. Certainly something to hold on to as you hang on and weather a difficult period- 15 minutes at a time.

Thank you to Meryl Moss Media Relations for providing a copy of this book for review

Review: Falling for Me by Anna David

Falling For Me by Anna David: In this memoir, the single thirty-five year old author endeavors to follow the advice of legendary Helen Gurley Brown (longtime editor of Cosmo) as presented in her 1960's book Sex and the Single Girl. From learning to roast a chicken to decorating her apartment so that it is a comfortable "nest" for a man, the author acquires skills ostensibly to help in the jungle that is dating; however, she learns more than mere skills - she gains insight into what has prevented her from finding love in the past and the importance of truly valuing herself before she can expect a man to do the same.



One day the author wakes up and realizes she is in the latter half of her thirties, childless and without any viable relationship prospects on the horizon. As she describes it at the beginning of the book:

Now it all feels like it's too late - like while I was off screwing around and building a career, the men I'd want to partner off with went and married younger girls who were happy to put their work lives second or possibly not even have them at all so that they could focus on a relationship. It's like coming out of a blackout and discovering that you're in the process of losing a game of musical chairs you didn't even know you wanted to play.

(My thought at this point in the book - Hmmm . . . this musical chairs game sounds hauntingly familiar). With this realization in hand, the author sets out to change the path she is on and discovers Helen Gurley Brown's book. She decides to spend a year following the icon's advice since her own attempts at finding a lasting relationship have not panned out. In an effort to expand her interests and skills, she takes pottery and cooking courses, she receives expert hair and makeup intervention, she "feathers the nest" by warmly decorating her apartment and moving out the post college temporary furniture. With each new experience, the author gains unexpected insight and begins to feel empowered. For example, she realizes the reason she hasn't taken much care with her clothes and hair over the years is that she hadn't wanted to seem like she was trying thereby revealing her vulnerability. That leads her to consider if her reluctance to reveal vulnerability has kept her from doing other things and taking chances in general. She takes one of her biggest chances when she follows Gurley Brown's advice to travel. Despite being outwardly confident and seemingly worldly, the author has traveled little outside the country. Remembering she was most happy when she spent time abroad in Spain, she rather impulsively sets up a house exchange for one month with a woman from Seville. She has many second thoughts as she starts her trip but she is determined to push outside her boundaries and forges forward.

Sprinkled throughout all these personal enrichment exercises are a series of dates and relatively short-lived relationships. She meets these men via online dating sites, speed-dating events and random set-ups. The dates serve to allow her to test out her many new skills but more importantly to see how her new approach changes her previously destructive behavior in relationships - they become a barometer for the progress she is making in her project. Obviously, she doesn't look at them this way - she hopes one of these dates will result in her finding the partner she desires. After all, she is still surrounded by friends and acquaintances whose lives are moving through the major life milestones like marriage and babies. She describes learning that one of her friends is pregnant:

A familiar ache rises in me - the feeling that someone close to me has something I am scared I am never going to get. . . . . but my own anguish disappears as quickly as it came on and I feel genuinely happy for her

Falling For Me is well written with the right balance of wit and true insight so that it is neither heavy and morose nor shallow and fluffy. Although the construct of selecting a book or philosophy and following for it one year ( think Julie and Julia) has been done and seemed an unlikely endeavor for most of us, you quickly get over that as Anna David shares the real trials of recognizing that you have almost let something pass you by and now realize you really want it. She writes with feeling and authenticity while knowing when to lighten things up.   Some of Gurley Brown's advice seems anachronistic to the modern western woman but the following quote show how timeless her advice really was and it sums up the entire spirit of Falling For Me:

Her [Gurley Brown] overall message seemed to be that all single woman need to do is see what a glorious position they're in and then, if they want the next stage- the ring and ceremony, the mother-in-law and nursing children - do everything in their power to reach it.

I recommend this book and if you would like to read it yourself, please participate in the giveaway. Thanks to Julia Drake PR, one lucky US winner will receive a copy of Falling For Me.  Just fill out the form below and winners will be selected Friday, November Nov 4th.



 

Review: The Lost Girls

The Lost Girls: Three Friends. Four Continents. One Unconventional Detour Around the World. by Jennifer Baggett, Holly Corbett, Amanda Pressner is a travel memoir written by three girlfriends who leave their lives in the Big Apple behind to travel the world for a year on a trip where they learn about different cultures, languages and customs. However, their most important lessons are the power of taking chances, the gift of self-discovery and the grace of great friendships.

Jen, Holly and Amanda are each firmly entrenched in the rat race of New York City working long hours and struggling to advance their careers; at the same time, however, they are approaching thirty and beginning to get restless.  As they face their quarter-life crises, they decide to take the trip of a lifetime together and travel around the world.  Their list of destinations is impressive and includes Bali, India, Peru and Kenya.

My thoughts
The chapters of the book alternate between Holly, Jen and Amanda as they chronicle their adventures in each destination - some destinations are told from the perspectives of all three girls while other destinations are told only from one girl's perspective.  The alternation gives the reader a well-rounded experience of each destination and the trip as a whole; however, at times, it seemed superfluous to have each girl recount their observations.  Their points of view were not remarkably different from each other so it wasn't always necessary to hear each girl's experiences of a particular destination.  The book is over 500 pages long and I feel it could have been shortened by about 100 pages without my losing very much of the girls' adventure.

This minor quibble with the length, however, in no way detracted from my enjoyment of the travel memoir - I loved seeing these destinations through their eyes.  I am an avowed travel addict and am most happy when I enter an airport, passport in hand.  As I read through the memoir, I found myself adding destinations to that mental list of "must see" places - for example, I definitely want to go to Peru and Kenya.  I have also been to many of the places the girls traveled to  -Vietnam, Bali, India, Cambodia and Thailand - it was such a thrill to relive those trips by reading about the destinations in this memoir!

The book, however, is more than a collection of city guides and tales of adventure in far-flung destinations.  It is really a story of how these three women took risks and left the safety of jobs and boyfriends behind to see a bit of the world and ensure they seized the chance to live life to the fullest.  Their commitment to turning their backs on the security of lives lived according to plan is what most inspired me about these women  - I am not sure I could to it which is why I admire it so much. Oh and one more thing - they have inspired me to take a trip to New Zealand!  Take a look at the blue sky in this picture below and you will understand why!

Credit: The Lost Girls

I read this book as part of the TLC Book Tour - check out the site for a list of other tour hosts and links to their reviews.  Thank you to Harper Collins for providing a copy of the book for review.

Review and Giveaway: Devotion by Dani Shapiro

Devotion: A Memoir by Dani Shapiro is a memoir by a wife and mother who begins to wonder (well, really knows) that there must be more to life than an endless routine of errands and responsibilities and endeavors to try to find more meaning in life.  Having grown up in a religious Jewish family, Shapiro struggles to reconcile the traditions of her father's Judaism with what she really believes and what will bring her purpose and comfort in her busy life.  Dedicated to the goal of gaining this understanding, Dani explores her own history with religion, the practice of yoga, buddhism - searching for that kernel that will resonate and make sense of it all.  She tells the story of this journey beautifully but also with some well-placed humor and self-deprecation which makes the book so readable and satisfying at the same time.

A book about religion and finding spiritual meaning?  This really could have gone either way and although I had been interested in the book since it first came out in hardcover, I opened it with a little trepidation prepared to perhaps be turned off by a spiritual journey I couldn't understand or too much abstract exploration of meaning.  When I read the following quote within the first 20 pages of the book and found myself utterly able to relate, I knew I had nothing to worry about:

I was always compiling lists in my mind: what had gone wrong, what could go wrong.  I hadn't figured out how to live with my heightened awareness of exactly how fragile it all is. And so the lists grew and grew.  I was trying to control the universe - and it's hard work to try and control the universe.  I thought that by naming every potential disaster, I could prevent it. 

 Ah - someone put to words what I struggled with myself for as long as I can remember.  From that point on, I was hooked and literally devoured this book.  I found myself getting through it so quickly because I just wanted to read more and more but also needing to remind myself to slow down and really let it settle in.  My copy of the book is completely dog-eared - I seemed to find passages every few pages that I wanted to hold on to because they articulated my own experience in a way I never could.

A memoir's success really lies in the author's ability to connect to readers with their own story.  Shapiro does that with grace and ease.  On the surface, I have little in common with the author.  She is a mother and wife living in the country; she was raised in a Orthodox Judaism; she lost her father in a tragic accident and had a painfully difficult relationship with her mother.  I am single, childless, living in a city; I was raised in the Catholic Church; both of my parents are alive and well and, although I do battle with them from time to time,  our relationship is pretty good.  Despite all these differences, I understood her journey and saw parallels in my own life.  Shapiro's struggle to find faith and meaning is truly universal and she writes about it in such an accessible way that a reader can easily connect with the story. 

Ok, by this point in the review, it is clear I LOVED this book and I urge you to get it and read it.  For other perspectives on the book, you can check this link for the list of blogs on the tour - there are many excellent reviews there (some may also be more balanced than mine!)  I tried to see the author at a speaking engagement in NYC but was not able to make it but for those of you in a book club,  Dani is very willing to speak with book clubs (via Skype) - I think this book would spark a lot of interesting discussion. 

Giveaway
I want to share this book - I have already bought copies for friends and started handing them out!  My copy will remain on the shelf with all it's dog-eared pages so I can go back to it but I have also bought 2 copies to give away to readers of my blog.  Just leave a comment below with a way to contact you and I will select winners on Wed, March 2nd.  The contest is open internationally (I will ship the book via the Book Depository)

Thank you to Trish at TLC Book Tours  for introducing me to this book and providing a copy for review!

Review: I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samatha Bee

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samantha Bee
From Amazon:

A senior correspondent for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, the Toronto-born comedian pokes fun at herself in a witty collection of personal essays. Recalling her upbringing, she lightheartedly and hysterically skewers her parents, stepparents, grandparents, and even the nuns who taught her math, half of whom "looked and smelled like the rejection of life itself." Bee's stepmother took camping "very seriously," and preparing for a trip was "like preparing for the End of Days;" her father, claiming to be thinking up strategies for better fuel efficiency, was really "just reading Penthouse on the toilet." Regarding the nuns at her Catholic school, Bee doesn't hold back: "You could see that they had all their lady parts, but you just knew that once a month they menstruated dust." Bee takes readers from childhood to adolescence and beyond, reminiscing along the way about her first boyfriend, comparing their sexual chemistry to that of a "sea cucumber that sits motionless on the cold, dark ocean floor and dreams of dry-humping a nearby scallop." Bee successfully brings her witty, self-deprecating, slightly cynical, and semi-scathing world view from screen to page.

My Thoughts:
This memoir is told in a series of essays each recounting a cringe-worthy story from Bee's childhood or adolescence.    Now most of our childhoods and certainly adolescences offer material galore in the humor department but it takes talent to write and package those scenes into funny, sardonic essays with just the right amount of detail.  Samantha Bee definitely has a self-deprecating sense of humor and is not afraid to make fun of her younger self which makes for a more humorous story.  With divorced and somewhat eccentric parents, Bee seemed older than her years as a child watching and assessing the exploits of her parents.  She may not have realized it at the time but all that observation would turn into a funny, entertaining book!

The author I can most easily compare Bee to is David Sedaris - she has a similar sarcastic tone and tells personal stories as he does - however, I think her book approaches the humor found in a David Sedaris story.  I definitely found myself laughing out loud but I feel Sedaris is just that little bit more witty and exacting in his prose.  With that said, I Know I Am, But What Are You?, takes dysfunction and makes it funny - and maybe makes us all feel just a little bit better about our own childhoods!

FYI - Although I read it in print, I think this book would likely be excellent in audio (check out S. Krishna's review of the audio) as I am sure Samantha would deliver her witty one-liners with just the right inflection. 

Thank you to Kristin at Simon and Schuster for providing a copy of this book for review

Review: Everything Is Going To Be Great by Rachel Shukert

Everything Is Going to Be Great: An Underfunded and Overexposed European Grand Tour by Rachel Shukert is the smart and witty telling of the author's trip through Europe (well actually through Austria and the Netherlands) on a non-existent budget.  The "grand" is definitely tongue in cheek - Rachel goes to Europe as part of an ensemble cast  performance in which she has an non-paying, non-speaking part and is forced to wear a "poo" hat.  And we're off .  .  .

Dedicated to her craft, Shukert is just happy to be part of a cast and thinks little about the fact that she will not be earning money while in Europe.  You have to admire her sense of adventure and willingness to take risks.  The risk-taking continues as she meets men while abroad and dives into relationships and casual sexual encounters.  As much as I could not imagine taking these risks, I couldn't help laughing at the predicaments in which she found herself.  When she loses a cap and needs emergency dental work, she lands herself in one of the most outrageous scenes of all with three Italian men.  Again, not something I imagine myself doing but her telling of the story is smart, irreverent and self-deprecating.

This may appear to be a travel memoir but you will find little in the way of not to be missed sights or historical highlights.  The book is really more of an anthropological study - Shukert shares observations about the essence of people in the countries she visits and examines their customs with her trademark humor.  I can still see the pre-Christmas scene in Amsterdam as the Dutch clamor to see Sinterklaas - the Dutch answer to Santa Claus.  Here is how Shukert describes Sinterklaas:

There is no Santa Claus in Holland.  Santa is jolly.  Santa is too fat to ride a bicycle, and his obesity is a drain on the national health care system.  Santa is financially generous for no logical reason.  Santa is completely antithetical to the Dutch way of doing things. 

Photo  Credit

In Santa's place is a tall, thin and fastidious bureaucrat called Sinterklaas who dresses like Torquemada, the leader and spiritual godfather of the Spanish Inquisition

Despite Shukert's derisive description of the Dutch holiday tradition that is Sinterklaas, she heads out to see him arrive at the main train station on his feast day and is nearly trampled by the masses as they clamor for a sighting or perhaps a small piece of candy from Sinterklaas. While being trampled, she keenly observes the Dutch - her observations, like much of the book are insightful and irreverent. 

While not a traditional travel memoir, this book is a wonderful coming of age story as Shukert learns valuable life lessons and quite a bit about herself amid ill-advised sexual escapades and a near poverty existence.  Best of all, she keeps you laughing throughout!

Thank you to Erica at Harper Perennial for providing the copy of this book for review

Jan's Story by Barry Petersen

Jan's Story: Love Lost to the Long Goodbye of Alzheimer's tells the story of Barry Petersen's struggle as his wife declined into the confusion of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease at the young age of 55.The story is heartbreaking but also inspiring as Barry conquers his loss and moves through it.

Alzheimer's Disease destroys brain cells causing problems with thinking, memory and behavior.  It is progressive and ultimately fatal.  Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease, defined as a diagnosis before the age of 65, is particularly devastating because it can be more aggressive, progressing quickly and rendering its victims significantly handicapped and unable to conduct a normal daily life.  The person left is merely a shell of the their former self and is often unable to care for themselves at all.  The impact of the disease to the patient's family is tremendous - in addition to the horrific loss of their loved one before their eyes, the family must also deal with the logistics of providing care for the increasing limited patient and the financial burden of that care.  Barry Petersen's story follows that journey and beyond.

Jan Petersen first showed signs of being "altered" while they lived abroad when Petersen was posted outside the US for his work as a network reporter.  The event that precipitated her diagnosis at age 55 was  dramatic and also had many hallmarks of the disease.  Although she returned to "normal" after the approximate 3 day episode, her behavior, memory and personality began to show signs of decline.  Barry devised ways to keep his wife safe - employing friends to take her shopping, managing all her medication, ordering in so she wouldn't have to use the stove and perhaps forget to shut off the burner.  All the while, he mourned the loss of the Jan he knew as pieces of her slipped away.  It was particularly difficult to read about Jan as she became antagonsitic and fought with Barry - her sunny disposition was a part of her character that drew Barry to Jan so I can imagine it must have been horrible to see that sunny disposition replaced with anger and vitriol.

There were some choices that Barry made that seemed unusual but I cannot judge without having been in his shoes.  For example, while posted in Asia and after Jan's diagnosis, Barry shuttled the couple between Japan and China every few weeks. For someone with memory impairment, it must have been very disconcerting and scary to be in a different country every few weeks - different apartment, different friends, different currency.  At the same time, Barry could only afford to continue to care for Jan's increasing care by maintaining his job which required this travel.  It is not surprising, then, that Barry was the focus of criticism from Jan's family and friends who felt his decisions were not in her best interest and even questioned if Jan was really as impaired as Barry had indicated.  To suffer this judgement must have been terrible as he also lost the love of this life.

Althought the book is entitled "Jan's Story", the story is just as much Barry's.  It is the story of his loss, his hitting rock bottom as the rigors of being a caregiver completely wore him down and the story of his renewal as he recognized that his wife was lost and he needed to move on.  I appreciate that Barry shed a light on this devastating disease - how it destroys the patient but also the family and caregivers.  It seems the caregivers are really the unsing heroes of this fight and there is a need to figure out new ways to adequately support patients and families through this disease as its incidence rises. However, what I most appreciated about this story was the courage shown by Barry in moving through this horrible time in his life and pulling himself from the depths of despair - his story is inspiring and gives hope to anyone facing a terrible loss.

Barry will donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book to the Alzheimer's Association - you can also visit their site for information about the disease, resources for families and patients, and information about how to help.

Thank you to Tricia from Media Muscle for providing this copy for review. 

Review: Somewhere Inside by Laura and Lisa Ling

Somewhere Inside: One Sister's Captivity in North Korea and the Other's Fight to Bring Her Home is a memoir of Laura Ling's time spent in captivity in North Korea and her sister, Lisa's, efforts to gain her release. This news story captured my attention as it was happening and I read this book to understand more about what had happened behind the scenes both in North Korea and here in the US.

The book alternates between Laura's story in N. Korea and Lisa's perspective from home trying to get information about her sister and working to win her release. The chapters alternate between each sister's point of view; each sister's story has it's own font so it is easy to tell whose story is being told. It is clear that the sisters are very close - they each relate the story of their childhoods living with parents who fought constantly and how that drew them closer together as siblings with older sister Lisa protecting her "Baby Girl" Laura. They don't explore the past in any great detail except to provide context for their relationship - the focus of the book is the period between March 2009 and August 2009 while Laura was imprisoned by the North Koreans.



As you would expect, Laura's part of the book recounts the time she spent in North Korea from when she and her fellow journalist, Euna Lee, were captured after stepping briefly over the border between China and North Korea, through their trial and sentence to twelve years hard labor and finally their release which was brokered with a visit by former President Bill Clinton. Lisa's chapters told the story of what was going on at home while the events unfolded in North Korea - she spoke of the impact Laura's captivity had on each of her parents, on Laura's husband Iain, and on herself. More interesting to me, however, was the detail on the media campaign and political wrangling that took place in an effort to release the two journalists. Lisa determinedly pursued every avenue politically to try to win the girls' release and it was fascinating to read about all the personalities and egos at play in the effort. It did make me wonder, however, whether if Lisa Ling had not been so well connected in the media and political worlds, if her sister and Euna Lee would ever have been released. She had a level of access to political figures not available to most.

Overall, I liked the book - I read it to learn more about what happened behind the scenes during the incident and I certainly got that from the book. The one thing that didn't sit well with me was the relative lack of emotionality present in the book. This was obviously a very trying time for both sisters but it seemed as if emotions were addressed with a level of detachment that made it difficult to really feel what they were going through - it was subtle but defintely there. That being said, however, the book still delivers the story of two amazingly determined, intelligent women caught in the middle of a geopolitical firestorm - makes for a interesting read!

Review: I'll Know It When I See It

I'll Know It When I See It: A Daughter's Search for Home in Ireland by Alice Carey tells the story of Alice and her husband's search for a home in Ireland and the reconciliation of Alice's past. Alice Carey, the daughter of two Irish immigrants from Co. Kerry, was raised in an immigrant neighborhood in Astoria Queens. Her mother was a house cleaner for Jean Dalrymple , a famous theater producer of the time, and Alice spent most afternoons in Dalrymple's luxurious Manhattan townhouse while her Mother cooked and cleaned. This early exposure to the world of theater seems to have heavily influenced her life - Alice became a musical theater performer as an adult.

Another strong influence in Alice's life is that of her mother's Irish heritage and her longing for "Home" in Ireland. Alice's mother saved diligently for years so that she and Alice could travel back to Ireland by boat. Although this trip home was not as idyllic as either Mother or Daughter imagined, it had a strong influence on Alice's life in both positive and negative ways. It certainly is a major driver for her return to Ireland with her husband and her search for a home to buy in Ireland.

There were many points in this memoir where I could identify with Alice despite the fact that our paths in adult life are very different - she an artist, me a scientist. For example, Alice observes as the boat she and and her mother take to Ireland pulls into the dock at Co.Kerry, Ireland:

She's [Alice's mother] completely Irish now. And me? I'm . . . Irish American. No, I'm not at all like those Americans eager to wear green, kiss the Blarney Stone, and soak up the culture. I'm a New Yorker. And I am Irish. Just like Mammie

.

I think Alice does an excellent job in the above quote of characterizing the immigrant experience - the experience of living between two worlds. Both her Mother and Alice are caught between being New Yorkers and being Irish. Of course, you can be both and that is the beauty of the melting pot which is celebrated in this country but the reality of feeling like you only partly belong to two worlds but don't completely fit into either is also part of the immigrant experience.

Alice also struggles with this as an adult - she imagines her what her (now dead) mother might think of her and her husband's return to Ireland to buy a home:

Alice Marie, ye've dyed yer hair, and ye're not a teacher. Ye lived with a man for how many years, before marrying him? Ye ran from home, moved to Greenwich Village and ye now live in a ruin in Ireland. A ruin! What can I tell them at home? I ran from Ireland to better myself in New York. And now you wind up back in County Cork, no less! Not even Kerry. Living in a ruin

.

I know my mother would feel the same way - she was so intent on building a better life for herself and ultimately for her family in NY that she would struggle to understand my desire to go back to live in Ireland. She wants me to love it there and to respect where she cam from but living there is an entirely different story.

I really enjoyed this memoir and not just because I feel I share some of Alice's experience. I did expect the book to focus more on Alice and her husband's adjustment to life back in Ireland but the exploration on her childhood and her family's history was equally satisfying!

This book meets the criteria for the Memorable Memoirs Challenge and the Ireland Reading Challenge

Review: Undress Me In The Temple of Heaven

One of my regrets is that I did not take the summer (or year) after college off to travel the globe beginning life in the corporate world. Worried about future job prospects, I dutifully took a job which started only 2 weeks after graduation and pledged to take as many trips as possible during vacations. Although I have made good on my pledge to travel and have had the opportunity to go to many far-flung destinations for work, it is not the same as a post college backpacking adventure. So I was immediately drawn to this book when I heard about it - even though the tale it tells certainly blurs the idealistic picture I may have had of backpacking.

Susan Jane Gilman's Undress Me In The Temple of Heaven is a memoir which tells the story of the author and her college friend's post-graduation backpacking trip around the world which begins in China. This is China before it was fully opened to tourists and given an overhaul for the Beijing Olympics so travel there (especially on a budget) was difficult - Gilman and her travel compadre, Claire, faced more than just pollution, putrid smells, bizarre noises - the general assault on the senses - encountered by most travelers to the third world. They also had to contend with the military police tracking their movements and restrictions that the Communist regime had placed on foreigners requiring them to use designated traveler's currency and account for every item they brought into the country upon their exit. Throw in a health crisis or two and Claire's gradual loss of her grip on reality and you can see how this backpacking adventure starts to unravel.

The story is told with the witty, at times snarky, voice of the author and I found myself laughing out loud as I read. From their nightmarish trip to the hospital accompanied by a schoolteacher who spoke little English to their attempts to find an insect-free hotel room, Gilman tells her and Claire's story with smart, funny anecdotes. She expertly describes the emotional rollercoaster she rides as she faces her fears of being away from home, alone in a foreign country and riddled with self doubt:

In China, I was having trouble knowing who I was anymore. There was nothing familiar to reinforce my sense of self: no loved ones, teachers, report cards. While I'd once imagined I was savvy, here in Asia it had become abundantly clear that I was not. . . . Certainly, the primary tool I'd always relied upon for the bulk of my personality - the English language - was no longer at my disposal much. What was really left of me?

It is not all grimy hotel rooms, squat toilets and loneliness; Gilman also describes all the glories of travel - even in the third world. Her description of her trip to the Great Wall and the majesty of the scenery surrounding it perfectly captures one of the true joys of travel - a views ability to make you forget just about everything (even your travel mate's rapid decline into psychosis!)

If you love to travel (or just read about it!) and enjoy funny, smart writing, you will enjoy this one. Makes me want to rush out and plan my next trip . . . and still a little wistful for that backpacking trip I never took!

Thank you to Miriam at Hachette for providing this review copy. This book meets the criteria for the Memorable Memoirs Challenge

Review: Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster

Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office (whew - that's a mouthful) is Jen Lancaster's hysterical memoir that recounts her tumble from a high-powered exec making a healthy six figure income to an unemployed (albeit very well-dressed - note the Prada bag in the book's title) woman who continually adjusts her standards as her money-making prospects dwindle. The memoir begins with the author's description of her high-flying lifestyle as a sales exec - from her spectacular apartment (aka the dot.com palace) complete with granite countertops and private deck to her expensive but very necessary hair coloring and pampering schedule. Despite her demonstrated success at work and her obvious dedication to her job, Jen loses her job and finds herself facing indignities such as the unemployment office. Over the next 12 months, Jen is unable to find a job even though she pursues every lead and lowers her expectations progressively over the year. She is driven to taking extreme measures to preserve some semblance of her former life - including getting married to her long-time boyfriend in an effort to secure health insurance and ulitmately moving from the dot.com palace to "the ghetto".

The entire story is told with Lancaster's signature wit - I literally laughed out loud while reading this book. The humor in the book is smart and cutting and very relatable - I swear many of the thoughts Jen articulated have run through my mind! No one is immune to her sarcastic commentary - she doesn't suffer incompetence easily. I think that is part of what makes this book work for me - despite Jen's over the top princess persona, you want to like her and find yourself rooting for her. She is clearly intelligent and hard-working and although her criticism of co-workers, clients, neighbors and customer service staff seems harsh, she speaks the truth. That honesty shines through all the humorous commentary and makes you want to read more.

I would definitely recommend this book - it is funny and refreshingly honest- you will relate to Jen and laugh along with her throughout the book!

Reviews: Saving Graces by Elizabeth Edwards

Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers

In this first memoir by Elizabeth Edwards, the author writes eloquently about her life before marrying Senator John Edwards, the tragic loss of their oldest son, the 2004 Presidential campaign and her diagnosis with breast cancer at the conclusion of the campaign. Before beginning the memoir, I was aware of the major highlights of her story from the news coverage of her husband's bid for Democratic nominee for President and subsequently VP. I had seen her speak in a number of interviews in support of her husband's Presidential aspirations but didn't have any opinion about her, per se. She was a candidate's wife and really didn't grab my attention.

So I was surprised when I began reading her memoir - surprised in two ways, really. I was surprised by the warmth that emanated from the pages - she draws you in and is so obviously a nurturer that you can easily imagine dropping into her home for coffee and a good chat. I was also surprised by the intelligence demonstrated in her writing - this is a woman that clearly has a point of view and can articulate it very well. She uses literature and poetry references easily throughout the book but in an accessible way which is far from intimidating. She speaks in a very informed way about top issues facing the US today - including healthcare. She does not repeat soundbytes but provides a well-thought out, considered commentary.

As you can imagine, however, much of the memoir focuses on the event that changed her and her family's lives forever - the death of her oldest son, Wade. Her descriptions of how she felt upon hearing the news and at key points following his death were eloquent but gut-wrenching - her grief and loss were palpable in her writing. She is honest about the process she went through to learn to cope with the loss and the amount of time it took - in fact, she is honest about the fact that this loss is something she will never "get over". But through the grief, you can see a determination to continue to be there for her family and for others facing the loss of a child and to ensure her son's life was appropriately memorialized.

Surviving the loss of her son seems to have provided Elizabeth Edwards with an interesting perspective on the next challenge presented to her - the diagnosis of Stage 3 breast cancer. It is almost as if she is better equipped to deal with this obstacle after surviving her son's loss. I had trouble reconciling myself to the equanimity with which she received the diagnosis but I have not experienced the loss she has to know if it would offer me the same ability to look such a fate in the eye and resolve to move through it.

Overall - I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and really connected with the author. I respect her intelligence and introspection. I was more than disappointed when, after I read this book, the news of her diagnosis with metastatic breast cancer and her husband's infidelities were revealed. It seems like someone that has been through so much should not be dealt two more bad cards; I thought her book would be a great comfort to anyone facing challenges - perhaps she will call upon select passages as she faces her newest obstacles.


Reading at the Beach hosts the A-Z meme which asks you to spotlight a book whose title starts with the letter of the week. This week's letter was "S".