Review: Losing Touch by Sandra Hunter

Losing Touch: Arjun Kulkani moved his entire family to North London from India. Like many immigrants, he works hard to fit in but also wants to preserve the values and traditions of his homeland. He has studied the English and outwardly makes every effort to blend in - he is careful in his appearance and tries to always be quiet and respectful. Even though he tries so hard to blend in, he is frustrated by his son Murad and daughter Tarani who try to distance themselves from their Indian heritage and adopt the cultural norms of their new home but without his intense desire to fade to the background and not stand out. This generational struggle is only one of many faced by this family especially when Arjun begins to decline from an inherited form of muscular dystrophy which first steals the feeling in his leg and gradually debilitates him until he is completely dependent on his wife, Sunila, for care. With the passage of time and loss of ability, Arjun makes observations about this own life and the family he has built, however clumsily, in London.

 The book opens with Arjun and the family attending the funeral of his younger brother, Jonti. Jonti has died from the muscular dystrophy that Arjun fears and eventually develops himself. This scene at the funeral provides the first snapshot of the Kulkani family including the extended family of Aunts, Uncles and cousins. We meet Sunila, Arjun's wife, and immediately detect her dissatisfaction with life and even with Arjun. There is tension between the Arjun and Sunila which is exacerbated by Arjun's obvious feelings for his sister-in-law, Pavi. While Sunila seems to harp on what they don't have or what she wished was different, Pavi seems to understand Arjun and speaks gently with him. Of course, the move to London and the pressure to fit in has been difficult on everyone and Sunila is no exception - as the book progresses so does an understanding of Sunila's dissatisfaction and what she has also sacrificed to make this move and live this life.

 My Thoughts
This book beautifully portrays the passage of time and the losses and pain which accumulate over the years. Each chapter provides another snapshot of the family - the story is not continuous so much as a series of snapshots but the themes of generational struggle and Arjun's increasing understanding of himself even as his physical abilities decline run throughout these snapshots. We see the children grow and Arjun's generation age.  Interestingly, we also see Arjun become more of an outsider rather than less despite all his efforts to assimilate. Where first his status as an immigrant makes him and outsider, towards the end of the book he is also and outsider within his own family as they live life around him and his becomes increasingly disabled due to his disease.  In this passage, Arjun muses on his status as an outsider:

What importance he used to place on small things: his perfectly ironed shirts, the knife-crease in his trousers, the well-tailored jackets and suits, his meticulously folded socks and underwear, his Kiwi-polished shoes, his leather wallet. These details made him feel a little taller, a little better prepared to face the hostile he had moved to . . . . It all meant something, some sense of striving for decorum and order, some sense of fitting in to the middle-class neighbourhood whose ideals he's never quite grasped. 

The feeling of donning an armor to face a new country or striving but never truly understanding the new country you have moved to is one faced by many immigrants but so poignantly told in this novel. The author has told a beautiful story of a single family through a series of snapshots that captured the big, but most small moments of a lifetime.

I read this book as part of the TLC Book Tour - you can find other reviews of the book here.

Review: Karma Gone Bad by Jenny Feldon

In Karma Gone Bad: How I Learned to Love Mangoes, Bollywood and Water Buffalo by Jenny Feldon, we follow the author to India as she and her husband relocate there for two years for his job. When Jenny left behind NYC for Hyderabad, India, she had visions of living a glamorous ex-pat life. After arriving in the dirty city with intermittent power and where getting a simple cup of coffee took herculean effort, Jenny started to question the move. Before long, she was losing sight of who she was and her relationship with her husband was strained - dreams of a glamorous ex-pat lifestyle were a thing of the past. Jenny thinks India and the stresses of living there are the problem but maybe the problems run deeper than the couple's locale.

 Jenny was very satisfied in NY - she loved everything the city had to offer and didn't feel the need to search for more. Traveling abroad was not her dream - she had everything she needed right outside her door. When her husband is asked (read: told) by his company to go to India for a two year stint, Jenny has some reservations but wants to be a supportive wife and fools herself into imagining a jet set lifestyle on the Indian subcontinent. She doesn't seem to do much research about her soon to be new home; her lack of preparedness becomes clear as she aruges with her husband about the number of designer dresses she should bring with her. When she arrives in India, her small dog in tow, she is assaulted by smells and sounds as soon as she deplanes. After a harrowing drive from the airport to their new apartment, Jenny and her husband discover their toilet is in their shower.

Everything is a challenge in their new city - going grocery shopping, getting a coffee, getting from point a to point b. As her husband throws himself into work, Jenny wants to play the perfect housewife but can't bring herself to overcome the many challenges of daily living. Rather than rise to those challenges, Jenny begins to retreat into herself and doesn't try to assimilate to her new home - she becomes overwhelmed by how different everything is from home and starts to resent India and her husband for bringing here there.

 My Thoughts 
I have been to India twice and both times I have been both fascinated and overwhelmed. NYC is fast-paced,loud and smelly but seems ordered as compared to the chaos of India. The author did an excellent job of portryaing what it looks like on the streets of India with cattle roaming about and drivers zipping along without observing any road rules. She also captures the experience of being an anomaly - it was unnerving to have people constantly stare at me (or even touch my skin) because I was white and tall where most people were brown and petite. The sense of personal space which we take for granted doesn't exist in India and I can appreciate how different that must have been from NY where you can be surrounded by people but still anonymous and encased in your own bubble.

At times, I was frustrated with the author - I found so much to appreciate while in India and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't grab on to this experience and wring everything out of it. I have to remember, of course, that I was only there for vacation or a business trip and not to live for two years. Many of the things that frustrated the author where taken care of for me by a tour guide or colleague. Although she didn't prepare effectively for the trip and went into it somewhat blindly, it must be difficult to live there and assimilate under the best of circumstances. My frustration abated as I watched her use the experience to gain insight into her marriage and her own limitations and to start to make changes to better navigate her new home.

This is an excellent travel memoir - I read it in two sittings - the author brings India to life and some of the scenes are laugh out loud funny. The author doesn't shy away from revealing her own foibles which invests the reader in her journey and pretty soon the frustrations with daily living in India fall away and you are watching a young woman learn about herself, her young marraige and how to live in the moment.  I have seen the book referred to as "Carrie Bradshaw meets Eat, Pray Love" and I think that sums it up really well!

Author of the popular blog Karma (continued…), Jenny Feldon was named one of BlogHer's Voices of the Year in 2012. A Massachusetts native, she lives in Los Angeles where she balances writing, motherhood, and giant cups of coffee—mostly all at once.

I received a copy of this e-galley from Netgalley.

The World We Found by Thrity Urmigar

The World We Found by Thrity Urmigar centers on four women - Laleh, Nishita, Armaiti and Kavita - who attended university together and were very close at that point in their lives.  Circumstances, as they often do, have intervened in the years since university to put distance between the four friends.  When Armaiti is diagnosed with a terminal illness, she wants the friends together again so they plan a trip to her current home in the United States to be with their friend in her time of need.  The road to this reunion reveals much about each of the women and puts one of them in a position to challenge the life she has chosen.

Laleh, Nishita, Armaiti and Kavita were passionate in college and participated in protests for socialist and humanitarian causes.  They were very close and completely aligned, or so they thought, in their beliefs.  Following college, the four women went in different directions.  Laleh married her college boyfriend who is now a successful businessman; he and Laleh lead an affluent life in Bombay even though Laleh at times bristles against the materialism in their lifestyle.  Armaiti ran off to America and married a man there from whom she is now divorced despite their amicable relationship and shared adoration of their teenage daughter, Diane.  Even though she has connected little with her past in India - to the point that her daughter Diane knows very little about that part of her Mom’s life- she is compelled to reach out to her friends for one final reunion when she is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Kavita is a successful architect but hiding the fact that she is lesbian.  Despite her and her friends’ very modern sensibilities, Kavita worries about being accepted in a society which is still so traditional in many ways.  

Finally, Nishita has perhaps the most interesting story of the four women.  Like Laleh, she has married her college boyfriend Iqbal.  He has, however, changed dramatically since university and has embraced his Muslim faith and customs in a way her never did during their more progressive college years.  He has imposed these strict customs on his wife and she has sacrificed much for her life with him.  She has been completely cut off from her family and even given up her name - she is now known as Zohar. Laleh and Kavita are determined to find her so she can join the reunion but finding her, although challenging, turns out to be easiest part of this journey. Zohar does not enjoy the freedoms taken for granted by her friends and will not be allowed by Iqbal to travel to the US even if they can provide the funds to pay for travel.  They are appalled by the changes they see in their friend and are committed to making sure she comes with them on this trip to Armaiti.  Zohar is ambivalent about making the trip  - on the one hand, she is thrilled at the prospect of reuniting with her friends and with the woman she once was but on the other hand she is terrified to challenge Iqbal and to leave a life she has become accustomed to even though she is very dissatisfied.

My Thoughts
I LOVED this book. The writing is spectacular but very accessible and Urmigar brings modern India to life through her characters in a way few other authors can do. By introducing you to these four women, Urmigar also introduces you to segments of Indian society and in covering their history she covers the history of India.  All the while, you are immersed in the lives of these characters and the history and sociology just become backdrops to the story.  They give the story relevance and ground it in reality.

I read this book quickly - I kept turning pages to see what what happen next on the journey to the reunion.  There is suspense as the women conspire to get Zohar out from under her husband and his family which adds to the pace of the story.  I am now a confirmed Thrity Urmigar fan - I knew I liked the author after reading The Space Between Us (my review) and I was not disappointed with her  newest.  My advice - READ IT!

Immigrant Stories Guest Post: Author Jyotsna Sreenivasan

On Monday, I reviewed And Laughter Fell From the Sky (review here) by author Jyotsna Sreenivasan and wrote about how the main character's struggle to fit into a new country and meet her parent's expectations is very typical of many immigrants and first generation children (although we don't all go to the lengths that she goes to!).  Jyotsna Sreenivasan has graciously written about her own immigrant experience in the guest post below as part of the Immigrant Stories Challenge.  She even makes some immigrant story recommendations so read on!

In my new novel, And Laughter Fell from the Sky, Rasika, one of the main characters, reveals that as a child she cheated, imitated, and pretended in an attempt to fit into American culture.

    When I was a child I don’t remember cheating in order to fit in, but I did try to pretend that I wasn’t “different,” that I didn’t have brown skin and black hair and parents who spoke with an Indian accent. At the age of seven or eight, I was mortified if India was ever mentioned in class, because all the kids would turn around and stare at me.  I was embarrassed when my mother brought potato curry or rice pilaf to a Girl Scout potluck. Whereas my parents were proud and happy when others asked them about India, I hated it when people assumed I was an expert on India, or that I should serve as a cultural ambassador for the country.

    Rasika arrived in the U.S. at the age of eight. I was born in the U.S., but we moved to India when I was five, and came back to the U.S. when I was seven. In India I was “the girl from America,” and in kindergarten I had entertained my class by singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” By the time we came back to the U.S. I had acquired an Indian accent, yet I didn’t realize that I spoke differently from the American kids. How had I suddenly turned into “the girl from India”? In any case, I very soon began talking like all the other kids. 

    By sixth grade I had become comfortable enough with my identity to read a book that took place in India--The Road to Agra by Aimee Sommerfelt—and do an oral report on it. I felt triumphant, but my teacher just said, “Of course you would be interested in that book.” By seventh grade I sometimes wore embroidered Indian blouses to school. My senior year of high school, I did a long research report on Indian classical music.

    Yet despite my growing comfort with my ethnicity, in college when I began writing poetry and fiction, I did not draw inspiration from my cultural background. In my senior year of college I wrote a short story in which the main character dealt with a boyfriend and conflicts with her mother--problems I faced--yet I didn’t give the character any particular ethnicity. I guess I assumed she was white and Protestant. It didn’t occur to me then to give her a cultural background. She was just supposed to be “normal,” whatever that meant.

    When I read The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston in graduate school, the light suddenly went on for me. I identified with Kingston’s feeling of not being Chinese enough for her parents, nor American enough for her classmates—the feeling of not really fitting in anywhere. I finally realized that many of my cultural insecurities were not just my own problem, but a problem shared with others of the second generation—children of immigrants, and those who immigrated as children.

These insecurities often cut across cultures. While first-generation immigrants retain their foreign accent when speaking English, and have strong ties to the home country, their children often have weak ties to the home country, and acquire the accent of the region in which they live. Julia Alvarez, a second-generation author from the Dominican Republic, titled her first book of fiction How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents.

    My first published short story, “The Peacock’s Mirrored Eyes,” appeared in India Currents magazine in 1992.  It dealt with an Indian-American teen who was conflicted about her cultural background. Since then, all my fiction has been about Indians and Indian-Americans.

    Many of my favorite books are written by authors of the second generation. A few months ago I finally started a web site that I’ve been wanting to put together for years. Second Generation Stories: Literature by Children of Immigrants (www.SecondGenStories.com) features books by dozens of second-generation authors, including well-known figures such as Mario Puzo (author of The Godfather), Maxine Hong Kingston, and Julia Alvarez.

And Laughter Fell From the Sky by Jyotsna Sreenivasan

In And Laughter Fell From the Sky, author Jyotsna Sreenivasan introduces us to two people, Rasika and Abhay, who are in early adulthood and struggling with the weight of family expectations. Both Rasika and Abhay are the children of Indian immigrants living in Ohio and each are weighed down by the expectations their parents have of them. Their parents have struggled to give their children a good life with the many opportunities life in the US offers but have also instilled, at times imposed, the traditions and values of their homeland.  The result is two children caught between two worlds - the one their parents brought them to and the one from which they came.

Rasika maintains a perfect exterior - she drives a luxury car, dresses impeccably and her beautiful face is always made up.  At twenty six, she lives at home with her parents and works for a bank.  Her parents are anxious to get Rasika married and much time is spent evaluating potential matches and ensuring they find someone worthy of their daughter and also matched in terms of caste, career and good looks. Rasika seems to agree with these external measures of the perfect match and professes to need a man that is taller than she and well employed.  

Despite wanting and needing to be the perfect Indian daughter, Rasika has also spent much of her life trying to fit in with her peers in the US.  She describes watching and following what classmates did:

We never had worksheets in India, so when I got a worksheet, I looked at what the other kids wrote. We never had show-and-tell. I watched what the other kids brought in, and I did the same. I never brought in anything Indian. I imitated to learn to be American.

This imitation has left Rasika unsure of who she really is and what she really wants.  When she does get a sense of what she wants, she denies it if it is in conflict to what is expected of her.

Abhay has also grown up with the high expectations of his parents.  Like Rasika, he has delivered on those expectations in many ways.  He excelled in school and everyone had high hopes for a bright future. Following college, however, Abhay has been drifting.  He spends some time on a commune but leaves when he is disappointed by the utopian community. He doesn’t want to follow the traditional path into a successful, well-paying career despite his parents’ disappointment in his aimlessness. Unlike Rasika, Abhay has dealt with the expectations of his parents by flaunting them openly but he is just as affected  - in an effort to eschew what they want for him, he has lost sight of what he might want for himself.

They are an unlikely couple considering Rasika’s focus on good looks and career success but Abhay and Rasika are drawn to each other.  A struggle ensues as Rasika grapples with her parents’ expectations about whom she should be matched with and her own desires.  Rasika has spent so much time modeling herself into what is expected of her that she is completely out of touch with what she wants so that she doesn’t even at first recognize her feelings for Abhay.  It is hard to imagine a modern American couple facing love forbidden by their parents but that is exactly the predicament faced by Rasika and Abhay.

And Laughter Fell From the Sky deftly examines the damage done when someone lives up to others’ expectations or to the exclusion of their own wants and needs.  This is a problem often faced by immigrants and their children as they strive to fit into their new country.  In Rasika’s case, it is compounded by the high expectations her parents have for her and her own desperate desire to please them.  Abhay faces similar challenges but to a lesser degree because he does not slavishly follow the lead of others - he is actually determined to strike out and encounters different challenges in that effort.


My Thoughts


I felt I could relate to Rasika even though there were times I didn’t understand her choices.  Like Rasika, I have struggled with feeling obligated to my parents for all they sacrificed in order to give my brother and me our life in the US.  Somehow, I translated that into a need to live up to all their expectations, stated or not, and lost touch with what I wanted.  Fortunately I never went to the extremes that Rasika went to and I have become comfortable doing what makes me happy and worrying less about the expectations of others. I pitied Rasika at times as I watched her trapped by obligations and out of touch with what she wants.

And Laughter Fell From the Sky is very readable and alternates between Rasika and Abhay’s point of view.  The characters (although incomprehensible at times) are fascinating and it is interesting to see Abhay and Rasika’s relationship evolve throughout the book.  I love this as an immigrant story but there is something there for most (including a parallel to Wharton’s House of Mirth which Bookchick Di writes about in her review) readers.  Whether you like an immigrant story, a story about forbidden love or a multicultural story, And Laughter Fell From the Sky has something to offer!

Check back tomorrow when the author will be here for a guest post as part of the Immigrant Stories Challenge. 

Thank you to Mary at William Morrow for providing a copy of the book for review

Audiobook Review: Miss New India by Bharati Mukherjee

Miss New India by Bharati Mukherjee, narrated by Farah Bala; length: 13 hours, 35 minutes


In Miss New India we meet Anjali Bose, a young girl born into a lower class family in the small town of Gauripur, India whose family's only goal is to get her married "well". Anjali, however, has other aspirations - thanks to an education and a teacher who believes in her, Anjali dreams of a new, independent life in Bangalore where she can work at a call center. Anjali is conflicted about leaving her home and family until a terrible encounter with the man her family has selected for her seals the deal and sends her packing to Bangalore. Once in Bangalore, Anjali meets a collection of women who have all come to the city to reinvent themselves and find success in a call center. They are jaded about the role they play in society as essentially commodities in the service of Western companies and the Indian businessmen and women who have bought into this new economy for their country. While in Bangalore, Anjali finds herself in a number of dangerous situations and continues to be unsure about the decision she made to leave home but, with a lot of help from generous benefactors, Anjali persists in finding a new life in Bangalore.  

My Thoughts

Although there are other characters in this book, the only one brought to life is Anjali and so the success of the book for the reader largely lies in their reaction to her as a character. Anjali wore on my last nerve - in theory, I should have respected her gumption in leaving her life behind and facing so many challenges in Bangalore but, although I had flashes of respect and even empathy, overall I found her to be inconsistent. She wavered between using her femininity to get what she wanted by flirting to being indignant that she was being taken advantage of by the same men she was luring with her feminine wiles. In one breath she felt insignificant and undeserving and in the next she expected her benefactors to provide for her without hesitation. This conflict is expected in a woman in transition is Anjali is following her move but for some reason in Anjali it doesn't ring true and just seems inconsistent. At times, I felt as if I was reading about two different people. Had there been a logical progression from the more insecure to the confident Anjali, it would have made sense to have those two voices, but by flitting back and forth constantly, the author lost me.

This audiobook is 13+ hours long and it could have been 4 hours shorter. The story meandered quite a bit and towards the end I stopped caring and felt the book could really be wrapped up. To be fair, I did listen to this over a long period of time so it is possible all the interruptions made me lose interest However, regardless of that, if the book had been edited better I think the story would have been more compelling and a strong storyline would have emerged.

The narrator, Farah Bala, did an excellent job with the Indian accents in the book and I liked listening to her. With so many of the characters working at call centers, different accents were very important in the book; the narrator did well with the Indian accents and the American accents but her British accent was terrible. I cringed a little bit every time I heard it.

The storyline and themes of this book had a lot of promise but, unfortunately, the execution didn't work for me.

The Forbidden Daughter by Shobhan Bantwal

The Forbidden Daughter by Shobhan Bantwal tells the story of Isha Tilak, a young woman living in India with her husband and daughter. As the book opens the Tilaks discover they are expecting a second daughter. Although the news of another daughter brings happiness to Isha and her husband Nikhil, it dismays Nikhil's parents who see another daughter as a burden since the family will ultimately need to pay a dowry to marry the daughter off and they anxiously await a male heir. Along with the Tilak's doctor (yes, you read that right), Nikhil's parents urge the couple to abort their unborn daughter. Isha and Nikhil vehemently refuse and Nikhil is found brutally murdered shortly after the refusal to abort. At this point, Isha's story really begins - she is forced to face her in-laws and life without her husband alone.

Sex selective abortion, although illegal in India, is actually quite prevalent. Long assumed to be more of a problem among the poor, a study published in the British medical journal, The Lancet, reveals that sex-selective abortions are rising in the educated, more affluent Indian classes. The Tilaks fit that profile perfectly - they are affluent and educated. After Nikhil's death, Isha really fears for her unborn daughter and knows Nikhil's parents will only treat her as indifferently as they have their first daughter. She is forced to make difficult decisions and face life on her own for the first time in her life. She develops strength she didn't know she had, becomes independent and makes protecting her daughters her ultimate priority.

Isha's story is compelling and I certainly found myself wanting to read more to see how she would overcome all the obstacles placed in her path. In parallel to Isha's growth into an independent woman, the novel also explores the mystery of Nikhil's death. The mystery element also kept me reading. The book is a quick relatively uncomplicated read but tells an important story. Although the issue of sex-selective abortion is the backdrop of the novel, the author does not preach but rather raises awareness about this issue by telling Isha's story and drawing the reader in with interesting characters and a plot that moves. I will definitely be looking for other books by this author

Sunday Salon

Well, this has been quite a week -I was frantically trying to wrap up a ton of things at work while also preparing for my trip to India over the holidays. While I am very much looking forward to the trip - a 3 week vacation with friends touring fascinating India - the excitement got overshadowed by the long pre-departure "To Do" list. Needless to say, I didn't get much reading done. The only book completed this week was Jessica Brody's Love Under Cover: A Novel. My review will be posted shortly so check back soon!

Our trip in India will consist of a two week tour on North India (check out the intinerary here). After the tour we will spend a couple of days in Mumbai and finally to Kerala to a beach resort for our final 5 days. As you can see in the itinerary, there are a lot of train/plane/bus transfers on the tour so I expect to get a lot of reading done. In fact, I have brought a few books targeted for the South Asian Authors Challenge. I love to enjoy fiction set in countries that I have or am traveling to so this challenge dovetails nicely with my vacation plans. Here are the two books I brought that meet the challenge requirements:

The White Tiger: A Novel (Man Booker Prize) - This won the Man Booker Prize and has been on my TBR for quite some time

The Age of Shiva: A Novel :- I have heard a lot about this author (Manil Suri) who also wrote Death of Vishnu and am looking forward to reading this one too.

I also brought a few books from other genres along to keep things interesting:

Wishin' and Hopin': A Christmas Story- I loved Wally Lamb's first two books (haven't read the third) and since I will be away for Christmas, I wanted to read one Christmas-themed book to keep me in the spirit.


Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office - I read Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer some time ago and found myself laughing throughout - I thought some humor might come in handy while dealing with the challenges of traveling India

Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time - I feel I may be only person who has NOT read this book - with all the great things I hear about it, its time to remedy that!

I'll see how I get along with these and if I need more I know I can pick them up in bookstores here or trade with fellow tour members. I will try to post reviews as quickly as possible but that will be limited by my ability to get an internet connection. I am sure I will be able to get online at least once per week. So, if you are interested in the journey (or just the books I am reading on the way) follow me!

Happy Holidays to everyone!
Namaste